Friday, December 12, 2014

Silent Bell of St. Dorbaine and d12 Relics of the Church

Saint Dormaine helped found the early church and was later mutilated by the removal of his uvula and tongue, so that he would be unable to cast spells.  However, the saint was so precious in the divine eye, that he continued to speak, pray, and cast spells.

Even when he was struck down during a sermon, his head removed, and then burnt, the saint continues to speak without pause.  His melodic voice filled the chapel and inspired his followers.

He is the saint of evangelism in Hesaya.

In the Holy City of Coramont, there is a cathedral dedicated to him.  At the top of cathedral is a huge bell.  Like its namesake, this bell lacks a tongue, and so it is silent when rung.

Or at least, silent for most people.  Only the truly faithful can hear it.

It calls them to secret masses.  It strengthens them on secret holidays.  Sometimes it even rings when the rope is not pulled.

Sometimes the bell only rings for one person, or for a group.  Sometimes it even rings for blasphemers.  Sometimes it leads the faithful out of peril, and sometimes it condemns them.  Sometimes it even speaks with the voice of Saint Dormaine, and bestows prophecy.

d12 Relics of the Church
Magical abilities only function for clerics of the church.  Each relic is also worth an XP bonus when turned in to the church.  This XP bonus is shared by all members of the party.  All other part members enjoy sobering dreams of heaven and hell.

1 - Tongue of St. Dormaine, Speaker of The Truth
When this mace is rung against a shield, no speech is possible in 30' except that which is in praise of the Authority.  Demons of 1 HD or less must also save or silently bleed to death (from the ears) over 1d6 rounds.

2 - Hand of St. Gustau
This skeletal hand is held together with silver wire and boiled leather.  It grants telekinesis for 30', Strength 8.  Additionally, the bearer can choose to lose a hand instead of suffering the effects of a failed save.  The sacrificed hand instantly ascends to heaven, where it will await the cleric in the afterlife.

3 - Jaw of Ingvar, who defied The Tyrant
This fire-blackened jawbone trembles when in the presence of a dragon or large reptile.  It's bearer suffers no negative effects from being swallowed alive (suffocation, crushing, acid).  Additionally, all fire damage is reduced by 1 point per die.

4 - Liver of the Unknown Saint
When this liver is held in hand and prayers are continuously spoken, all poisons in the holder's body are postponed.  After each hour of continuous prayer, the holder may make an additional save against any ongoing poison.  While praying to the Unknown Saint, a small flame appears on the tip of the bandaged liver, like it was a lamp.

5 - Crucifix of St. Almahd
Anyone who is willingly crucified on this 10' crucifix drops to 0 HP and then must make 3 saves vs death.  The effect then varies depending on how many they succeed on.  If all three succeed, they get +1 Wisdom and permanent immunity to bleeding damage and blood magic.  If two succeed, they get +1 Wisdom.  If 1 succeeds, they get +1 Wisdom and -1 Con.  If all rolls fail, they die without chance of resurrection.

6 - Mummy of St. Iasumaya, the Lantern Atop The Tower
This leathery mummy is preserved by the natural oils and lacquers that the saint ate for the three years before his dehydration ceremony and subsequent living mummification.  It is sitting in the lotus pose.  Anyone who sits at the feet of the mummy and meditates is immune to the effects of starvation, dehydration, and aging for as long as they meditate.

Remember: you don't carry holy relics around in a SACK
you need a RELIQUARY
7 - Femur of St. Telluchus, who is called The Devoured
The bearer of this well-gnawed bone is worshipped and obeyed by dogs everywhere.  They can also turn wolves (in addition to undead).

8 - Ribs of St. Cavurha, the Great Martyr
The bearer of this shattered bag of ribs is immune to pain and torture.  The bearer deals double damage when bashing a skeleton with a bludgeoning weapon.

9 - Remains of St. Kurelda, who was immolated by witches
If the bearer of this bag of ashes dies from fire damage, they instead turn into an ash cloud with 1 HP (treat as gaseous form).  At the end of one minute, they reform, exactly as if gaseous form had expired (still with 1 HP).  Burning to death more than once per day is (obviously) traumatic and may require saves vs. psychology (morale penalty, insanity, whatever, depending on system).

10 - Skull of St. Grendelweiss, patron of moths
They say that the skull of St. Grendelweiss was transformed into quartz upon his death.  The bearer of this relic is aware whenever someone attempts to read their thoughts, memories, or dreams.  Additionally, they can spoof false thoughts/memories/dreams which the snooper now accesses.  Lastly, the bearer speaks constantly while asleep, monotonously chanting prayers and scriptures.  Attempts to muffle or hide their nocturnal proclamations will have negative effects.

11 - Heart of St. Carnelli, who fed the Companions
If any part's of the bearer's body are eaten, they will regrow overnight.  This applies to bite damage from hungry beasties, but it also applies to body parts that are used to feed teammates.  A character can feed himself and up to 3 others this way.

12 - Genitals of St. Olmado the Chaste
This mummified penis is contained in a leathery scrotum, held closed with a drawstring.  It is adorned with a single bead of lapis lazuli.  The bearer gets +4 to save against charm effects.  Additionally, anyone who kisses the relic gets an additional save against anything affecting their flesh that was caused by a failed save, or can be cured by a successful save.  (Such as demonic pregnancies or parasites.)

now this is a RELIQUARY


  1. It is truly a rare and monumentous thing that makes "kiss my dick" a good and holy thing to say.

  2. Nice to see relics in the dictionary sense of the term.