Monday, September 1, 2014

Psychic Gore Police

What is the opposite of a monk?

Monks spend their lifetime meditating and focusing inwards, learning to sense the secret chakras that articulate their body.  By studying and mastering these forces, monks learn to bend their bodies in impossible ways.  They can heal their wounds, run faster than humanly possibly, and make their flesh inviolate.

Psychic Gore Police

Gore Police are the opposite of this.  Like monks, they meditate (sort of) and practice the art of distancing the mind from the body.  Like monks, they have mastered the secret channels of energy that flow through their bodies chakras.  However, unlike monks, they have decided to spurn their flesh.  

The body is immaterial.  It is nothing.  Starve it.  Beat it.  Bleed it.  The gore police don't care.

Break their bones.  Rip out their guts.  Cut off their fucking head.  The gore police know, deep down, that it doesn't matter.  And they're right.  

A member of the gore police occupies their body.  But they are not their body.  They have practiced non-attachment, and succeeded.

In combat, they are known for the excessive injuries that they suffer, as well as the impossible amounts of gore that they produce.  In one famous example, a battle between 8 mercenaries and 3 gore police resulted in 600 liters of blood and 33 kidneys.

It is important to realize that the apparent injuries do not correlate with how near death a member is.  Gore police only die when they lose their fighting spirit, which coincidentally requires about 2 HD worth of damage.

They are not berserkers.  They do not fly into a rage.  They are perfectly in control of their chakras at all time.  However, this precision is not apparent to bystanders (although a fellow monk or martial artist might realize it).  If their movements seem careless, or their defense clumsy, remember that they are fighting to protect their chakras and their fighting spirit, not their flesh and blood.  Their physical bodies are just afterthoughts.

Gore Police

HD 2
AC 14
Atk +2 (unarmed 1d6+1) or weapon
Move 15
Save 14+
Special: Indefatigable, Indestructible

Indefatigable: While psychic gore police "technically" still require food, water, and air, they can ignore these requirements for long periods of time.  It takes them 10x longer to starve, suffocate, etc.  Additionally, they do not get tired.  Ever.

Indestructible: Whenever a member of the psychic gore police take damage, they have a 50% chance to ignore that damage, and instead gain an effect from the GORE TABLE. 

  1. Legs cut off.  Blood shooting from leg stumps gives them a fly speed equal to a walking pace.
  2. Disemboweled.  They may use intestines as a lasso that they are proficient in.
  3. Decapitated. Treat as blinded, but the psychic gore police is now locally omniscient within a 10' area.
  4. Hand cut off:  Can throw severed hand as a missile weapon.  Fist: 1d8 damage.  Choke: should be obvious.  Eye poke: blinded for 1d6 minutes.
  5. Foot cut off: All adjacent enemies must make a Dex check or slip on the blood.
  6. Stabbed in the heart: Attacker's weapons is grabbed until an opposed Str check is made.
  7. Fountain of gore: All adjacent enemies must make a Dex check or be blinded.
  8. Mortal wound: Seemingly dead, but will automatically get a sneak attack 1d2 rounds later, as their hand reaches out to grab someone's ankle or they suddenly jump out from around a corner. 
  9. Arm cut off: Kick the attacker in the face!  Automatic counterattack with legs.  (Free action.)
  10. Jaw smashed: Can spray broken teeth on next turn, 1d6 piercing damage in a 15' cone, treat as a breath attack.
  11. Hand/foot smashed: Can break off injured appendage on next successful melee attack.  Appendage does 1 bleed damage every round until removed (takes 2 turns, or 1 turn with a successful Int/First Aid check).
  12. Head smashed: Catch attacker's weapon in their teeth, and can make a Str check to break the weapon.  (Str 14 = 70% chance to snap a medium-sized weapon, like a longsword.) 
*REMEMBER* Even though a member of the gore police will suffer horrific injuries in a battle, it doesn't affect their efficacy.  Even if they lose both legs, their movement speed doesn't decrease.  If you cut off their hands, they'll wield a sword in their teeth.

DMing Tip: You absolutely must describe each and every hit in the most over-the-top, graphic description possible.  Use the word "giblets".  Do people have giblets?  Gore police do.

In Synthexia

The psychic gore police fulfill a specialized function in Synthexia.  They are the special agents and bodyguards of the Sorceress Queen.  They are her bloody hand on the streets of the Crystal City.  They enjoy privileged positions and are treated at all time with respect and deference.  

They dress sharply, in blue uniforms when on a mission, or in distinctive white silks when not.  They drive armored ambulances with textured roofs (so that they can stand on the roof of the vehicle more easily when in high traffic or inclement weather).  They travel in squads of 6, lead by a lieutenant of 3 HD.

Nearly all of them have been trained at the Queen's Police Academy, which accepts young orphans in order to indoctrinate them in the mysteries of the Police.  They have a rivalry with the City Watch.

A few gore dojos can still be found in the countryside.  These are hidden dojos, but there is one rumored to be in Hex 1209, in the foothills of the Prismatic Mountains.  Urghis Khan hated gore monks, and persecuted them ruthlessly while he was still alive.

Itinerant gore ninjas can sometimes be found, unaffiliated with the Sorceress Queen.  They are universally wretched-looking things, and wear the meanest rags, riddled with scabies, unshaven, and unwashed.  Despite their broken-seeming bodies, their eyes are clear.  Their minds are sharp as a stiletto, and their personalities as smooth as the skin of an undisturbed pond.

Instead of filling this page with pictures of gore, here's an article about recent Japanese gore movies. 


  1. As to the generation of excessive livers.
    They just guess what wounds they've suffered because they're distanced from their bodies? And then just sort of haphazardly manifest them?
    I'm guessing it's not regeneration.

    1. Come to think of it, they'd probably need some sort of regeneration, otherwise they'd all be maimed after their first battle. Maybe they just have really good doctors.

  2. I may have to incorporate this into a sadomasochist cult of the pain god. Definitely need a means of regenerating though, or a good use for the bodies.

  3. I knew somewhere in this awesome blog there would be a picture of GWAR.