Monday, July 27, 2015

My Demons

Firstly, lemures are like the ultimate minion monster.  They're just like, sad jello.  They look more like a balor's bowel movement than a real threat.  Like, a medium-sized dog looks way more dangerous than a lemure.

You should be able to fight, like, a hundred of these guys by level two.  Hence the minion rule, below.  (You don't roll for damage, you roll to see how many lemures you kill.)  The funny thing is that, since they're going to be pouring in the doors, they'll be doing an average of 3-6 damage every round to everyone that they can surround, so if you're in the middle of a gymnasium full of lemures, they're actually going to kill some players, just because their damage is reliable and there are too many of them to kill quickly.  Even a fireball would only kill, what, like 20 at the most?

Honestly, I'd love to fight a swarm of shitty demons.  I'd challenge people to beat my kill count, which would be like, 29 or something.  And after I beat them into a jelly, my character would pee on them.  Haha!  Demons are easy!

Then the next room has a nalfeshnee or something and it kills all of us horribly.

Second, demons have a long history of "requires a +1 weapon or better to damage", and while that's fun flavorwise, I feel like we don't need any more motivation to use magic +1 swords.  They're already mechanically advantageous and players already have giant boners for magic swords.  We don't need to tempt them anymore.  So, I gave my demons the Eldritch ability, where they can only be killed by magic, while non-magical damage can only daze them.  (They lose their next turn, but they're not helpless.)

This way you can throw demons at the party before they have any magic.  Either the wizard can save their magic missile for a dramatic kill shot, or they can just beat the poor thing until it's dazed half of the time and then run away.  (And players who don't know about the demons' tradition of immunity to non-magical damage can realize it after beating on it for a while, and then have an easier time running away.  Or locking it in a chest.  Whatever.)

Thirdly, there's a demon who has insanity-causing farts and I love that.

pictured: adorableness
HD 0 (HP 1) AC leather Flabby Claw see below
Move slow Int 7 Mor 7

Minion - When you kill this creature with a slashing or bludgeoning weapon, any damage in excess of it's HP rolls over to an adjacent minion (who also has this ability), so your damage total is effectively your kill count.  If you miss, you kill half as many.

Flabby Claw - Each enemy with at least one lemure adjacent is subject to a single attack roll.  If they are hit, they take 1dX damage, where X is the number of adjacent lemures (max 1d12).  If they miss, the enemy takes half damage.

Congeal - Reform in 1d6 minutes unless sprinkled with holy water, killed with magic, killed by blessed people, in a consecrated ground, or burned (requires oil or wood; a torch is insufficient).

Tactics: None, really.  Just swarm opponents en masse.

Instincts: Kill enemies, then enjoy creature comforts (tasty food, booze, sleeping in a pile in and around a bed).

Although lemures are about as tall as a halfling (4 feet), they weigh about 200 lbs.  They are obese mounds of deformed flesh.  They are hateful little shits.  When killed, they collapse like a jello sculpture and melt into a layer of pinkish slime on the floor about a foot deep.

pictured: a randy shit-talker
Bone Devil
HD AC chain Claws 1d6/1d6 Stinger 1d10+poison
Move fast Fly fast Int 14 Mor 7

Eldritch - Can only be killed by magic.  Whenever non-magical damage would bring it below 1 HP, this creature is instead dazed for 1 round.  They cannot be stunned more than once every 2 rounds.

Poison - First failed save causes -3 to attack and AC.  Second failed save causes all of your bones to fuse together.  Either way, this lasts 10 minutes.

Spells - teleport 1/day, invisibility 1/day

Wall of Bones - 1/day.  Covers a 10' by 20' area, but has some shapability.  Has 5d6 HP.  Any creature passing through it takes damage equal to the wall's remaining HP (save for half).

Osseous Armor - Willing target gets covered with bone armor (as plate mail) and takes half damage from non-bludgeoning attacks.  Also gains telepathy with bone devil.  Bone devil can only have one of these active at any given time.

Tactics: Hit-and-runs, use stinger when not outnumbered, use wall of bones to isolate enemies, use teleport for quick attack or quick retreat.

Instinct: Talk to everyone, call everyone fat and disgusting (if not to their face, then at least behind their back), collect beautiful bones, avoid other demons

Bone devils want to kill you, "liberate" your skeleton from your body, and then fornicate with it.  They think skeletal things are sexy, while fleshy things are disgusting.  They are sometimes employed as diplomats, and are accompanied by a human assistant wearing osseous armor.

pictured: centuries of constipation
Gas Demon

HD 7 AC leather Claws 1d6/1d6
Move human Fly slow Int 7 Mor 9

Eldritch - Can only be killed by magic.  Whenever non-magical damage would bring it below 1 HP, this creature is instead dazed for 1 round.  They cannot be stunned more than once every 2 rounds.

Swallow - If both claw attacks hit, the target must succeed on a Str check or be swallowed.

Stink Cloud - All non-demonic creatures in 20' get -4 to attack and AC.  At the end of each round you spend in the stink cloud, a creature can attempt a Con check.  Once they succeed, they are immune to stink cloud effects until they rest.

Flatulant Insanity - All non-demonic creatures in 20' must make a save or spend their next turn attacking a random creature in the area.  Critically failing this save causes a character to gain an Insanity Point.  Usable every 1d4 rounds.

Tactics: Get in the middle of everyone and start farting, eat the weakest looking people.

Instinct: Show off their knowledge and power, seek out foods that might calm their stomach, collect bourgeois shit like toy dogs and cheeses.

Gas demons are depressive and proudful.  They have strange diets and frequently suffer from indigestion and constipation.  Their guts churn loudly.  They sometimes wear clothing and makeup, and sometimes go naked (because they are proud of their bodies!).

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