Saturday, March 5, 2016

Oh My God More Magic Weapons and Gumbeasts

lpeters (Liam)


Gumbeasts are sort of like single-serving hirelings or animals.  You immerse them in water, then they swell up to their full size.  They all the commands that they hear in that first minute, and afterwards behave as commanded.  If no commands are given in that first minute, they just sort of wander around attacking things.  They lose 1 HP every 10 minutes as they either dry out or slough apart.  Feeding them a jar of grease restores 1d6+1 HP.

They're also stolen from a thing that Scrap wrote.

As a level 3 fighter.  Two fists hit for 1d6 each.  Defense as unarmored.  Only obeys orders that are suicidal (or at least highly dangerous).  Talkative.  Int 10.  Giant nose.  Brilliant yellow.

Absorbs the first person who touches it, turning them into a half-gummy centaur.  Mechanically this is identical to being on an utterly obedient horse, except that it is much cooler.  Vibrant orange.

Trappy Taffy
This is identical to a mimic, except that a player can set it like a trap.  You need to show it what shape to assume though, or else it will create a shitty looking facsimile.  Like, if it tries to turn into credenza just on the basis of your description, it will be bright pink and have five legs and a row of eyeballs or something.

Stats identical to a giant snake.  Cannot be given orders, and will instead just follow you around and attack anything that visibly threatens you.  Anything swallowed by the gummy snake takes an additional 1d6 damage, permanently loses 1 HD, and is crapped out smaller, permanently.

Magic Weapons

The Leveler
This is a sledgehammer +1.  Once per day, it can hit something and discharge both shatter and knock effects on it.  Whenever it gets a critical hit, the target takes triple damage and destroys the floor in a 10' radius.  If there is open space beneath, both the target and the wielder (usually) fall.

Chaos Mace
Whenever this mace +1 does maximum damage, roll a d20 to see what happens.

  1. +1d6 fire damage and target catches on fire.
  2. +1d6 acid damage and target permanently loses 2 AC (armor corrodes, scales flake off).
  3. +1d6 electric damage and they become magnetized (-2 AC vs metal weapons for rest of day).
  4. +1d6 ice damage and target is rooted until they can make a difficult Str check (free action 1/turn, or spend a turn making two attempts).
  5. Target takes no damage and is instead healed for 1d6+1 HP.
  6. Target must save or explode into a shower of coins (1d20 gp * remaining HP).
  7. Target must save or begin vomiting up a bee swarm (stunned one turn, swarm attacks randomly).
  8. Target must save or a random limb becomes incorporeal for 1d6 rounds (and you cannot stand on an incorporeal leg).
  9. Target must save or age 1d100-50 years (negative numbers imply youthening).
  10. If target and wielder both fail saves, they switch bodies.
  11. Chaos mace turns into a toy rubber snake until the next day.
  12. Target is sent to a random room in the dungeon / random building in the city / random hex.
  13. All weapons in 100' are turns into chaos maces for 1d6 rounds.  After this ability expires, they all turn back and the chaos mace simultaneously switches places with one of them at random.
  14. Target is sent 1d6 rounds into the future.  No save.
  15. Wielder is sent 1d6 rounds into the future.  No save.
  16. Target is cut in half.  Each half has half the HD and HP but most of the same abilities.  Any spells are split (not duplicated).
  17. Target is inverted.  Their colors are reversed (orange becomes blue, for example).  They have the opposite goals and personality that they did before (and opposite alignment, if you play with that).  Enemies become friends, etc.  Except that they'll still probably fight you, because you just hit them with a mace, friends or not.
  18. Mace teleports into a random room in the dungeon.  In that room, it puts itself in the most awkward place possible.  (In the hands of the lich, stuck halfway in a stone wall, etc.)
  19. Target must save or be charmed by you.  This is permanent.  It immediately stops fighting, swears obedience, and will refuse to harm you (though it might run away if you keep beating on it, yelling over its shoulder that it will send you money).
  20. The False God is summoned along with all of his angel-demon-clowns.  They will have a chance to argue their cases (whatever the fight is about) and introduce evidence.  The False God will then make the least just ruling possible.  The False God will disappear with a farting noise and the loser will be teleported somewhere shitty and far away.  (It is common knowledge that the False God always rules unjustly, and so instruct the PCs that they must lose the case if they want to win it.  The False God is not omniscient--far from it.)
Arrow of the Sun Killer
If shot at the sun, this arrow +1 will kill it.  Don't worry, it will be back tomorrow.  Functions as an arrow +5 vs fire creatures.

Grateful Dagger
Anything killed by by this dagger will rise 1 round later as undead (HD 1 zombie, usually).  They will follow their killer around and constantly speak their praises.  Like, if you do something impressive, they will all cheer about how impressive that one.  In unison, but not really.  They can be ordered to do anything you want, but they will not fight for you.

Blood Spear
This spear +1 does decreasing damage with each hit.  Each time it damages something, decrease the die size from d12 down to d4.  Beyond d4, it just turns into a handle.  It can be restored to full die size by stabbing the corpse of something that died in the last round, as long as that corpse has blood in it.  It can also be drunk to restore HP (as the die size) but this instantly reduces the spear to a mere handle.

This sword +1 can attack like a normal sword +1, or you can attack your enemy as if you were that enemy, using their best melee attack against them.  (Same attack bonuses, same damage, but no secondary effects beyond that like poison).  You are basically fighting dragons with dragon sword kung fu, and slashing at golems with golem fist style.  See also: Mirror Shield, below.

Magic Armor

Mirror Shield
If this shield +1 is hung on a wall, it reveals whatever is behind that wall, sort of like a window.  It doesn't actually create a window--it's a scrying effect.  

If you possess both the mimeblade and the mirror shield, two things happen.  First, a mime-like glamour covers you and whatever you are wearing, making it look like you are covered in black and white paint.  Secondly, you can create a cube of force 1/day.  (10' cube, 5d8 HP)

Electric Armor
This plate mail +1 lets you cast lighting bolt 1/day.  All lightning damage you would take is reduced by 6.  If you are ever hit by an electricity, you instantly teleport to the source, and may make a free attack against it, if applicable.  Don't stand outside during lightning storms (unless you have a ring of feather fall).

Meat Shield
This shield +1 is alive.  It looks like a set of ribs spread wide, with a small eye in the center that lets it see what is going on.  It can protect the wielder and up to one adjacent person; whenever a protected person would take damage, the meat shield instead twists into the way and takes damage instead.  It has 5d8 HP and regains it the same way any creature would (food, rest, magical healing).  It lacks a mouth, but if you talk to it somehow, it will tell you its sad story.  It was once a paladin.  Now it is just trying to make the best of a shitty situation.

source unknown


  1. Just stop with all this awesomeness already!

  2. I disagree. Continue with the awesomeness at your leisure.

  3. "The Leveler
    This is a sledgehammer +1. Once per day, it can hit something and discharge both shatter and knock effects on it. Whenever it gets a critical hit, the target takes triple damage and destroys the floor in a 10' radius. If there is open space beneath, both the target and the wielder (usually) fall."
    love it. stolen. in my campaign it will be an unassuming well-used walking stick with the inscription "I Smash All Obstacles". radiates faint transmutation magic

  4. If the meat shield gives 2 people protection, maybe it is the entire paladin corpse. Once flattened, it pivots on a crimped foot like a beef jerky ballerina.