Friday, February 5, 2021

Piabon the Dandelion Knight

Piabon is a fairy knight, of course, one of the knights botanical.  But he refuses to say who he serves.

What is your quest?

"I am gathering knowledge of your weaknesses for the coming war.  Don't look so concerned!  It won't be for a long time yet."

How long exactly?

"I find it best not to worry about such things.  But tell me, how poisonous is cinnamon to the human constitution?  Can you safely breath it?"

Piabon is accompanied by Gressa, an enormous white lion.  Gressa speaks with a girl's voice, hates violence, and pretends not to hear or see anyone else except for Piabon, who she addresses with mild contempt.  She is much lighter than she looks.

Want / Do Not Want

Piabon wants to learn about human weaknesses.  He would be especially interested in seeing large amounts of humans fighting at one time.  He has no interest in anatomy or dissection.  He would be interested in a book of poetry that describes heartbreak (another human weakness).

Piabon does not want his face to be seen.  He doesn't want people embarrassing him in front of Gressa.

Help / Harm

If Piabon likes you, he will accompany you (although not underground) and happily tell you about interested locations nearby and all the threats on the wandering monster table (he's traveled quite a bit).

If Piabon doesn't like you, he'll probably try to kill you.

Piabon's Secret

There's actually four of him--brothers who share a name.  One wanders around with Gressa, while the other three usually remain in their laboratorium sanctorum, atop Old Miss Thistle (a mountain).

Piabon

Level Armor as plate  Morningstar1d8  War Bee 1d6 (see below)

Move as human + bumbershoot (see below)

Piabon loves alcohol, and a single drink will make him hilariously, chilidishly drunk.

Piabon's armor is made from spun sugar.  It is light and strong, but melts if it gets wet.

Piabon's head, carefully concealed beneath his helmet, is that of a dandelion puff.  If he is restrained, his helmet removed, and his head blown off, the blower gets a minor wish.  The wish is limited to what an adult human could definitely accomplish with a year of labor.  Build a wall, destroy a bridge, teach the blower to play the panpipes excellently, kill a merchant, etc.

Piabon's War Bee lives inside his magnificent neckerchief.  He carries it in place of a bow, but treat it like a spiritual weapon.  It requires an action on the first turn to sic the bee on someone.  On the first turn and all subsequent turns, the bee makes an attack (using Piabon's bonus) for 1d6 piercing damage.  Lasts until the target is dead or Piabon loses line of sight.

Piabon has a bumbershoot that allows him to fly up to any altitude, but only outdoors and only in the direction that the wind is blowing.  It also allows him to cast featherfall on himself.

Which way is the wind blowing today? [d12]

1 - N

2 - NE

3 - E

4 - SE

5 - S

6 - SW

7 - W 

8 - NW

9-12 - No wind today.

Gressa

Level Armor chain  Claw/Claw/Bite 1d6/1d6/1d8

Move as lion  Int 18  

Gressa will not attack unless she is attacked first.  If Piabon is attacked, she will stand there idly, criticizing Piabon and while pointing out advice and tactics.  This gives Piabon +2 to hit and damage with his morningstar, and allows him to fight much more cleverly than he would otherwise.


Bonus: Dandelion Knight as GLOG Class

Template A - Bumbershoot (as above), Spun Sugar Armor, Wishing Head

Template B - War Bee (as above)

Template C - Condescending Companion (HD 5, random giant animal, as above)

Template D - Spawn Squire

Spawn Squire

You sprout off a hechman.  They are always level 0 (but can always advance as Dandelion knights, or any other knight botanical).  If you would die, you can choose to have your squire die in your place.  They are always named Pod (but may take a new name if they gain a level).

6 comments:

  1. Few things make me smile because I'm old and crotchety, but this right here might be just what the 5th of February needed.

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  2. So what happens to a Dandelion Knight when you blow their head-fluff away? Is it like a tremendous haircut/shave or..?

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    Replies
    1. The class feature makes me think otherwise but I'd assuned it'd kill him.

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  3. I liked the whole article, but what got me thinking the most is the definition of Minor Wish. "Anything that adult human could definitely accomplish within a year" is so cool, I think if anything that's what I'll steal.

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  4. Those questions are deeply worrying.

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