Wednesday, December 5, 2012

The Mighty Plot Machine

They say that imitation is the easiest form of creativity.  I’m okay with that.  I'm copying this idea that I got from a bunch of blogs that I like.  It's a random plot generator.

I think I totally succeeded in making the stupidest one.  My plot is the thickest!  You'll never have to think of a plot again.  This generator also works if you are trying to name an NPC as long as they have a Native American-y name that's just a bunch of nouns and adjectives strung together.

Here's the template:

A _________  ___________ who is _____________and HAS THE POWER TO _______________ is _____________________ in ___________________ .

1. Boneless
2. Autistic but crafty
3. Electric/Cyber
4. Hella Dramatic
5. Giant
6. Undercover
7. Neoluddite
8. Teenage
9. Ghost
10. Imaginary
11. Hungry
12. Political
13. Party-loving
14. Semi-Divine
15. Total Asshole
16. Flatulant
17. Well-endowed
18. Perverted
19. Baby
20. Doomsaying

1. Gorilla
2. Pope
3. Penguin
4. Hippo
5. Rat King
6. Rocket-powered Turtle
7. Mole-man
8. Manifestation of American Exceptionalism
9. Sushi Demon
10. Man-baby
11. Murder Hobo
12. Floating Mass of Musical Spheres
13. 17th century French Monarch
14. Well-dressed Director of Personnel Resources
15. Woman with a Ludicrously Large Sword
16. Yoga Instructor
17. Wizard
18. Space Vampire
19. Incarnation of Lust
20. Ultra-bro Driven Mad by NOT ENOUGH STEROIDS

1. Is Actually just 6000 voles in a suit
2. Is In unrequited love with Betty Ford (and has no idea she is dead)
3. Is Terrified of love (but constantly falling in it)
4. Is a “trophy-collector” from the bounty hunter dimension
5. Just saw the Abraham Lincoln movie and really wants to talk about it
6. Would be a nice guy if they only had a friend
7. Is always three feet to the left of where Bruce Willis appears to be
8. Is also a master inventor
9. Is a collector of gnomes and fancy santas.
10. Carries weapons and various sundries hidden on their person
11. Is Infected with the brain worm
12. Is Dying from cancer and totally a jerk about it
13. Is Actually a character escaped from a novel
14. Is captain of the Flying Trilobite
15. is secretly controlled by a Giant Nose in the attic
16. Is trying to get their real body back from some body-swapping dickwad (probably John Travolta)
17. Can only be described as “pendulous”
18. Is soggy at all times (Poseidon banged their mom and this is all they got)
19. Is Actually a psychic projection of one of the PCs repressed emotions
20. Is really, really drunk

1. Make your arms disappear maybe forever
2. Turn weapons into hilarious, rubbery versions of themselves
3. Turn the floor into lava
4. Teleport inside people, make their skin transparent, and MESS AROUND WITH STUFF
5. Turn eyelashes into wishes and teeth into white rabbits under their control
6. Get ANYONE (anything?) pregnant with a long, soulful glance
7. Party like no other
8. Give hickeys that are totally the worst
9. Ignore damage from anything man-made
10. Shoot rattlesnakes from their fingers
11. Travel 6 seconds back in time whenever they take damage
12. Use lame cartoon physics
13. Be filthy rich (same as Batman’s power).
14. Make any drawing real as long as its drawn on their face
15. Make people stick to stuff they are touching
16. Summon an infinite army of heavy-browed, red-shirted mooks.
17. convince the players to hand over their gear and do embarrassing stuff, by using sophisms, logic, and +40 points in Diplomacy.
18. Summon the lobsters.  All of them.
19. Turn into a deer with human hands.
20. And drive cars real good.  Also jets.

1. Questing for the golden fleece
2. Looking for their spouse
3. Trying to film a movie
4. Trying to resurrect dinosaur satan
5. Prepare the way for his/her moonshark masters from the moon.
6. Just eating everyone, usually without condiments, usually while they scream and wave their arms.
7. Looking for help to be evil, because they suck at it and their dad Cthulu will eat the world if his dorky offspring doesn’t prove themselves to be worthy (not-completely-suckass) successor.
8. Looking for a good place to lay their eggs.
9. Trying to get rid of this freaky, floating cow skull that keeps following them.
10. Battling their evil (good?) twin
11. Doesn’t know they’re really dead.
12. Very slowly eating the president.
13. Teaching all the houseplants racial hatred and psychic powers
14. Challenging Death in a game of wits.
15. Claiming new land for their nation
16. Digging a really, really big hole
17. Getting everyone addicted to mugwump juice and crappy music
18. Way too into cats
19. Determined to kill all of the ugly people
20. Turning famous landmarks into their anthropomorphic warrior-slaves.

1. In The library at the center of the earth
2. In A hospital full of zombies
3. In A burning forest full of hostile, burning treants and terrified squirrels
4. Inside the president’s body
5. In Tunnels filled with intelligent, carnivorous trains
6. In the kung-fu dimension
7. In The Tree Palace of the Ape King
8. In Fatland
9. On the anti-Earth, hidden behind the sun
10. In an airport rapidly transforming into Dracula’s castle.
11. Trapped in a bathroom.
12. Inside a malfunctioning laser factory (full of laser elementals).
13. At Burning Man
14. An upside-down tree, growing from the moon into the atmosphere.
15. At an intergalactic car race on Roboworld.
16. On the planet of adorable, stupid, helpless bunny-men and their dark secret.
17. Inside Big Ben, now transformed into Omega Defense Mode.
18. Atop a murderous, ambulatory bridge animated by an army of poltergeists.
19. Inside a 1982 Commodore Home Computer System.
20. At the party that Alexander the Great threw after he conquered every nation he had ever heard of.