Friday, July 25, 2014

HEX 0609 Blowhole Caverns

HEX 0609

Parties will find the blowhole caverns by either (a) finding an old pirate treasure map in a different dungeon, (b) hearing rumors about barnacle men dragging their captives back in this direction, or (c) just stumbling upon the burned-down inn in hex 0609 on my Frogstar Peninsula hexcrawl.

Notes: Pirate Treasure Map
It gives accurate directions to the blowhole caverns, but since it was written long ago, it makes no mention of the barnacle men.  The edges of the paper are singed, and if the map is heated, it will reveal hidden words that read: "Fire's hot breath yields these words, true, but ye'll find nothing but wisdom until the water swallows ye."

This is a clue to the treasure room that can only be reached by jumping into the whirlpool in room 13.  There aren't any other clues that might convince the party to jump into the whirlpool, so if the PCs arrive here without a treasure map, you might want to put the map somewhere in the dungeon for the PCs to find.  I recommend the pirate corpse in Room 7 [Drowning Room].

Notes: Tidal Cavern
This is a TIDAL CAVERN. The map below assumes that it is at low tide.  The tide comes in and goes out twice per day.  Unless you prefer a more complicated method, roll 1d12 when the party arrives at the dungeon to determine where the waterline is.
Low tide = 3 hours.
Tide coming in = 3 hours.
High tide = 3 hours.
Tide going out = 3 hours.
The tidal height is a whopping 9'.  None of the rooms in the dungeon are higher than 9' tall, and so they will all be underwater during high tide.  When the tide is changing, the water level changes by 1' every 20' minutes.

Due to wind and sea-spray, unprotected light sources have a 1-in-6 chance to extinguish themselves every 10 minutes (or whenever you make a wandering monsters check).

Notes: Barnacle Men
All of the barnacle men are male.  Young barnacle people are all female, and they are hidden in secret crevices and cracks out in the ocean, but within 300' of shore, where they are visited by barnacle men.  Only when they get older will they grow testicles and become ambulatory.

Barnacle men are disgusting, pink, insect-like humanoids that look like someone threw up in a conical shell after a seafood buffet.  They eat by sticking their heads out of their shells and waving their 5'-long "mustaches" into a plankton-rich sea current--but they much prefer the lifestock of the surface dwellers.  They eat people, too.

They have a long pair of crablike arms that they can use to claw at people, but they prefer to wield spears (which are too big to bring into their shell).  They also make use of a wide variety of deadly, semi-domesticated sea life, usually tidal organisms (you'll see).

They toddle around on a quartet of pink, crab-like legs, but at a very slow pace.  Since they are too slow to run away, whenever they fall to 1 hp or fail a morale check, they retreat into their shells, which are 6" thick and stronger than cement.

BARNACLE MAN: HD 2, AC 14, Claw (1d4) or Spear (1d8), Movement 1/4 that of a human.  Can retreat into their shell which makes them immobile but also makes them immune to all weapon damage (except bludgeoning, which does 1 damage per hit) until their shell is breached.  Their shell has HD 1 and AC 0, and after it has been breached you can just look down there and stab them in their stupid, screaming faces.  Or pour burning lamp oil in.  Whatever.

Some barnacle men carry DEATH CONE SPEARS, topped with a deadly cone snail.  They get -2 to hit with these, and do 0 damage, but the poison the snail injects is Save or Die.  The snails are highly visible and vibrantly colored, and I would also allow PCs to make an Int check to recognize the deadly coloration patterns even if they had never seen one before.

Some barnacle men carry PURPLE URCHINS, which they launch from slings.  On a hit, the poisonous urchin does 1d3 damage for two consecutive rounds.  The target must also make a save or have a random appendage be paralyzed.  Paralysis lasts for 1d6 hours if the save is failed, and 1d6 minutes if it succeeds.

Blowhole Cavern

0 Burnt Out Bed and Breakfast Hotel
This burned down wreck is atop the cliffs.  It used to be a quaint little bed and breakfast until the barnacle men burned it down (burning down human habitations is beautifully ironic to them).  It used to be two stories, but has now been well-scattered across the yellow grass.  Nothing useful can be found, except for a couple of ropes tied to a thick beam (which the barnacle men sometimes use to temporarily tie up prisoners and captured livestock).  An obvious and well-traveled path leads down the cliffside.

Off to the east is a blowhole, spouting water out of the rocks every few seconds.  PCs investigating the blowhole will not notice anything of interest unless they actually climb 50' down the extremely slippery rocks while getting blasted by water, which they can do if they have an iron spike and a hammer. See Room 16 [Blowhole].

1 Treacherous Cliffside
Switchback paths.  Narrow paths descend 60'.  Safe as long as you travel slowly and have a free hand.

2 Helican Rock
This smooth-sided rock sticks up 10' above the high-water mark.  It is white-slick with helican shit.  The helican is a 400 lb bastard of a bird that is constantly squatting atop it like a constipated gargoyle, leering with red, watery eyes.  It's smart enough to avoid well-armed groups, but if someone is alone, or if the party decides to go for a swim, it'll fly over and try to gulp someone down.  (Anyone who gets swallowed by the blowhole and ejected out here will also be quickly assaulted by the fucking bird.)

If the PCs watch the helican for any length of time, they'll see it regurgitate a half-digested dolphin, break it up into smaller pieces, and then swallow the pieces.

HELICAN: HD 4, AC 12, 1d6+1 damage + automatic grab if so desired (it can rake with talons if it doesn't want to swallow someone, or if its mouth is full), Morale 9.

  • First attack: attack successful = 1d6+1 damage + grab in mouth.
  • already in mouth: attack roll successful = 1d6+1 damage + swallowed.
  • already in pouch: 1d6+1 damage automatically (and helican will go sit on its rock)
  • Players can crawl from pouch to mouth, and mouth to freedom, with a strength contest (vs Str 17) or can cut their way out with a small, sharp weapon (gullet has effective AC 12 and HP 5)
3 Black Rock Beach
Steep, rocky beach.  Masses of dried, stinking kelp + flies that are interested in stinking kelp. Obvious entrance to Room 6 [Drowning Room] on left side of the beach.  Three black boulders on the right side of the beach.  

The highest boulder hides another entrance to the dungeon that leads to Room 8 [Crab Man].  The entrance will be noticed if PCs investigate it, and can be shoved by a mob of people with a combined Str score of at least 40, or the crab man (the crab man is freakishly good at moving rocks; that's what the barnacle men keep him around for).  Call for a Wisdom check to see if the PCs notice the Halfway Hidden Beach.  

4 Halfway Hidden Beach
Contains an intact oar, a broken oar, a small length of chain, and an intact glass fishing-net buoy (filled with the exhalations from an ancient glassblower, worth 5s).  A hidden sea-tunnel near the beach goes to Room 16 [Blowhole], but the PCs won't discover that unless they have diving gear, see that entry for more details.

5 Hidden Beach
Will only be noticed if the PCs swim/paddle around the outcropping.  Leads to a choke point guarded by the pair of barnacle men in Room 15 [Trophy Room].

6 Drowning Room
Northeast corner of the room is underwater, even at low tide.  The water hides a plethora of harmless starfish and an underwater tunnel to Room 8 [Death Cone Farm].

Southwest corner of the room has what appears to be part of a stone boat (dragged here from Room 9).  A small hatch appears to hide a small compartment "belowdecks", and can be opened by pulling on a stone ring (requires a combined Strength of 20).  However, opening the hatch only triggers a trap: a huge boulder falls from its perch above the door, and traps PCs in the room.  Like the boulders outside, the rock can be shoved by a combined Strength of 40 but only from the outside.  PCs trapped in the room are usually quite trapped.  The inside of the hatch compartment contains only a simple mechanism and a grinning human skull with a penny in each eye socket.

Northwest corner contains a narrow passage to Room 7.  Halflings can slip through readily enough, but humans will have to squeeze (and remove bulky armor) to fit.  Barnacle men are way too bulky to fit through.

7 Dead Pirate
This room is too small to hold more than 3 people at a time.  A tiny sliver of sunlight is visible 50' above, but nothing bigger than a rat could escape this way.  On the wall, scrawled chalk reads "no way out" and "no treasure no treasure no treasure no treasure no no"

A pirate skeleton is here, clutching an empty bottle of rum and a rusty-but-still-sharp cutlass engraved with "Don't Fuck It Up".  In his pocket is a piece of chalk and 34 pieces of silver. 

8 Death Cone Farm
This room is completely underwater (and is extremely dark).  If there are at least 3 torches back in room 6 or 8, there will be a tiny bit of light, enough to make out that the floor of the room is covered with dozens of brightly colored cone snails.  The snails are enclosed by "fences" made from iron spikes and fishing line, which the snails cannot climb over.

Any PC who swims down the bottom of this room or messes with the snails is inviting some stings from the Death Cone Snails (save or die).  Any PC who feels along the roof will soon find the other exit leading to Room 9.

It takes about 3 turns to swim into or out of this room.  Since a PC who hyperventilates before diving can hold their breath for a number of turns equal to their Constitution before beginning to suffocate (save or unconscious), most PCs will have a few turns to grope around before continuing.  Characters with Con 12+ can even reach air on the far side with half+ of their oxygen left.  The far side is, however, quite dark.

9 Crab Man
The center of this room is the wreckage of an ancient boat.  It's alabaster white, even after the eons.  It is absolutely covered in starfish, of all the colors of the rainbow.  The boat is magnificent and mysterious (how did it even get through the too-small door?) has long been stripped of anything interesting or valuable (and you can even see the crowbar marks).  The water is filled with large, ghostly crabs, which are both timid and harmless.

The crab man lives on the SW side of the room.  He is an ex-slave, a refugee from the fish people.  His body bears the scars from the harsh lifestyle (and a linguist might be able to read the graffiti that has been carved into his scarred shell, but that linguist would probably blush).  He escaped here with two of his companions, one of whom died from injuries sustained during the escape, and the other died from shell rot shortly after.  (They have since been laid to rest in Room 10.)  The crab man is supposed to stand guard here, but he spends 50% of his time sleeping in the shallows and the rest of his time moping.  He has a spear wound in his side that has now grown infected (inflicted by a barnacle man as motivation to keep watch more diligently).

If he spots intruders, he will attack half-heartedly, and make a Morale check when his HP falls below half.  He will react to food with hesitation, and to kindness with an obscene amount of gratitude (though he has trouble expressing it).

SAD CRAB MAN: HD 4, AC 16, Claws +1/+1 to hit, 1d6/1d6 damage, Morale 5.  Amphibious, but in danger of drying out.

10 Sea Cucumber Farm
Little underwater gates keep the sea cucumbers from wandering into Room 11 (Crab Man Graveyard). There are 221 large sea cucumbers here, each of which is sufficient for a day's rations (although they weigh 3x as much, unless dried).  They can be tasty if you know the recipes, and extremely disgusting if you do not.  A single barnacle man is here, tending the farm.

BARNACLE MAN: HD 2, AC 12, Claw 1d4 or Spear 1d8, can retreat into shell, Morale 7, Movement 1/4, will retreat into water at first sign of trouble.

11 Crab Man Graveyard
The exoskeletons of two crab men can be found on the floor here, laid out in a pleasing pattern.  They are slowly growing moss.  They can be made into effective splint mail, if you find the right kind of armorsmith.  However, disturbing the remains will enrage the sad crab man in Room 9, and actually trying to steal them will make him your implacable enemy.

12 False Hoard
A huge, wooden chest dominates this room, halfway buried under sand.  There are a few visible bricks against the wall, behind the chest.  The chest shows signs of having already been forced open, and contains only seashells (with a human skull at the bottom, a copper penny in each eye socket).  The inside of the chest's lid has some letters carefully carved into it.  The letters read "If ye hope to get your hands on my treasure while keeping them dry, think again.  But prithee, take a hat for your troubles and a tuppence for a grog.  Ye deserve that much."

If the chest is removed and some of the sand is cleared away, it will reveal a small trap door.  Beneath the trap door is a half-flooded, narrow (2' wide) tunnel that leads to Room 18 [Giant Starfish].  If it is not low tide, this tunnel is completely underwater.

13 Whirlpool
This room contains a whirlpool. When the tide is going out, the whirlpool is expelling water up (where it runs into small rivulets in the wall and is lost).  When the tide is coming in, the whirlpool is sucking water down.  During other times, the water is still.  The whirlpool is about 80' deep, and the walls are lined with (non-poisonous) urchins.  At the other end is Room 14a [Genuine Treasure Hoard].  The amount of time it takes to swim to Room 14a depends on the tide.
  • Tide coming in, whirlpool sucking = 6 rounds, -1 round if Str check passed.
  • Low Tide = 2x as long.
  • High Tide = 2x as long, then +2 rounds.
  • Tide going out, whirlpool expelling = 3x as long.
  • Unless you can see+swim well enough to avoid bumping into walls, a swimmer will take 1d6 damage from the urchins, unless the tide is coming in and the whirlpool is sucking, since laminar flow keeps you off the wall.
13a Genuine Treasure Hoard
If a PC claws their way out of the water, they'll find themselves in a small (20' diameter) round cave, with a couple of (usable) torches stuck onto iron spikes.  On the other ends of the room is a pile of coins with a skeletonized pirate captain sitting atop it.

High-backed wooden chair holds an imposing pirate skeleton, wearing a dusty red coat with gold embroidery (worth 10s).  Heavy, buckled boots hold a silver dagger (worth 30s).  And a magnificent pirate hat crowns its head. The skeleton still has a big, black beard, braided into knots, into which 4 gold coins have been tied.  He also holds a bottle of rum, and a skeletonized parrot sits on his shoulder.  There is a cutlass at his side.  This is the Dread Captain Crippley, famed for his wit, greed, and swordsmanship.

All of this is atop what appears to be a small mountain of gold and silver coins.  Actually, it's a mound-like rock, since the half of the cavern that the Captain sits on is a good 5' higher than the other.  The coins are carefully arranged to give an appearance of value, but it's really just one layer of coins.  Still, there are 100 gold coins, 300 silver, and 900 copper.  (This game uses the silver standard, 1s = 1xp). His mug and his sword are magical (see Appendix).

As soon as anyone touches a coin, approaches the Captain, or messes with the Captain, the skeleton will speak.  "Oh?  Do you supposed you've earned that gold, lad?" or something.  Really, the Captain just wants to taunt the PCs for a couple of rounds before leaping out of his chair and attacking them, which he will do at the moment that he judges is most dramatic.

In death, as in life, this is all just one big game to Captain Crippley.  He will joke and taunt.  He will even wink, which is quite the feat if you've got no eyelids.  "Why are you fighting so hard, boy?  Death ain't nearly as bad as it's made out to be."  "Bah!  You fight like a dairy farmer!" Etc.  His parrot will fly around only for as long as the captain is still standing.  If Captain is defeated, he will compliment the party and ask them one small favor: to leave the coins in his beard behind.  If he was particularly impressed by their wit and swordsmanship (and if they leave his beard-coins behind), he will offer to come along and offer his piratical wisdom and swordsmanship lessons (otherwise he's going to move on to afterlife).

Swimming from Room 13a back to Room 13 [Whirlpool] is the same as swimming in, except the direction of the whirlpool is reversed.  During high tide this room will fill halfway with water, but the air has no where to go, and so it will not be fully underwater at high tide (while two people can hold onto the captain's chair, everyone else will need to tread water for 3 hours, which requires a Constitution check. Letting tired people switch off allows them to make Constitution checks with bonuses).

CAPTAIN CRIPPLEY: HD 5, AC 12, Scimitar 1d6+2, Morale 12, If an opponent attacks Captain Crippley with a held weapon and misses, they must also beat the Captain in a Dexterity contest (Dex 18) or be disarmed (their sword sailing off into the water), Crippley is also a skeleton, and takes half damage from weapon attacks that aren't bludgeoning.  He is resistant to being turned.

CRIPPLEY'S PARROT: HD 1d6, AC 16, Claw 1 damage, On a critical hit, he plucks out an eyeball and scratches the other eyelid, blinding that PC until the bleeding is bandaged and the eye rinsed out.  If there is only one light source in the room, the parrot will also attempt to rip it away (Str 8 for this purpose) and throw it in the water.

14 Purple Urchin Farm
Another underwater farm with fishing line fences.  33 purple urchins in the water, and 3 slings hanging from the east wall.  Next to the slings, a single barnacle man tends to the farm.  If he is attacked he will pull a sling off the wall and begin launching urchins.

BARNACLE MAN: HD 2, AC 12, Claw 1d4 or Sling urchin (1d3/turn for 2 turns, save or 1 limb paralyzed 1d6 hours), can retreat into shell, Morale 7, Movement 1/4, will retreat and raise the alarm if it looks like PCs will make it across.

15 Trophy Room
Gruesome displays.  Walls are covered with captured fishing nets (worth 40s).  Tangled in the nets are 12 fishermen skeletons.  Their flesh was eaten (knife marks on the bones) and then they were redressed and hung up here as a symbol of barnacle man superiority.  There are also 18 oars hanging on the wall, most of which have been defaced with barnacle man carvings, depicting anti-human violence.  There is a rowboat hanging from the ceiling, which has been covered with spikes to look more fearsome.  2 barnacle men stand guard here, watching the entrance from Room 5 [Hidden Beach].  They have spears and shields (!) and are prepared to control this choke point (since the tunnel from Room 5 to the Trophy Room is only wide enough for 1 person).  They will, however, be surprised by PCs approaching quietly from the west.

BARNACLE MAN: HD 2, AC 13 (w/ shield), Claw 1d4 or Spear 1d8, Can retreat into shell, Morale 7, Movement 1/4.  

16 Blowhole
Unlike every other room in the dungeon, this one is lit by natural light coming from above.  The floor isn't flat, and actually slopes into the blowhole on the SE half of the room.  Anyone in the room must make a Dexterity check whenever they charge, run, or are struck in combat. Failure means they fall into the blowhole.  Barnacle men have suction cup feet, and so they never risk falling into the blowhole (but attack shrimp do).

The blowhole is extremely powerful and erupts every 1d4+1 rounds.  A player who falls into the blowhole while it is erupting gets a small chance to grab hold of the rocks (Roll half Dexterity or lower) or else they take 1d6 damage and are blasted up onto the rocks on top of the cliff, near Room 0.  

If a player falls into the blowhole when it is not erupting, they are slurped outside of the dungeon.  They take 1d6 damage from banging into rocks and emerge 1 round later from a cave beneath Room 4 [Half-hidden Beach].  This puts them in proximity of the Helican (Room 2) who usually attacks.  It takes 15 rounds of swimming and a Str check to get back to Blowhole via this tunnel, due to complex and weird hydrodynamics, where they must suffer being blown up as described in the last paragraph.

Three Barnacle men sit by the N wall in this room, eating sea cucumbers and playing a game involving shoes stripped from fishermen.  One carries a spear, one carries a death cone spear, and one carries a 4' bamboo spear.  When they notice the party, the first two will engage while the third runs to summon the attack shrimp in Room 17 (by blowing bubbles in their pool).  The attack shrimp will arrive 2 rounds later, and the waddling barnacle man the round after that with a sling and 3 purple urchins.  Attack shrimp are extremely noisy, and constantly chirp, scream, and warble.

BARNACLE MAN: HD 2, AC 12, Claw 1d4 or Spear 1d8 or Sling urchin (1d3/turn for 2 turns, save or 1 limb paralyzed 1d6 hours), Can retreat into shell, Morale 7, Movement 1/4.  Death cone spears get a relative -2 to attack and deal 0 damage, but they have a lethal poison.  After one sting, the barnacle man will remove the snail (takes a turn) and fight with the spear as normal. 

17 Kitchen
5 Barnacle men use a small oven (stolen from Room 0, the bed and breakfast) to cook kelp, carrots, and a fisherman's leg.  Two human captives (Molly and Ol' Gimlet) are tied up against the wall.  One of the barnacle men is a chieftain with a fancy hat, HD 3, a spear, and a sling (3 urchins in a bag at his waist).  His hat has 10 gold coins hanging from the brim on fishing line, like a pom-pommed sombrero.  The chieftain is larger, crueler, older, and smarter than his peers.  Smart enough to speak Common, actually.

18 Giant Starfish
A gigantic fucking starfish lives in this pool, 15' from tip to tip.  The barnacle men feed it garbage, and hope to grow it large enough to one day attack the human town of Angelspit.  The starfish is very passive unless attacked, or if more than one person splashes around in its pool, which contains some scattered coins (10g, 25s) and a mermaid figurehead from some ship (worth 50s but very heavy).  Some brickwork is visible on the western wall, going down to the floor, which is also partially bricked (though completely obscured by sand).  If the sand is cleared away, it will reveal a trapdoor, which leads to a secret, half-flooded, 2' wide tunnel to Room 12 [False Hoard].

19 Harem
This is the chieftain's harem.  A miniature reef has been built here, out of chunks of a real reef.  5 barnacle women grow on the rocks here.  They are the size of children, completely immobile, no smarter than dogs, and will sing lovely, dissonant songs if it is low tide and they are above water.  One of them wears a tiara worth 50s.  Another one has earring cemented to it (worth 25s if pried off).  If any barnacle-wives are killed but some barnacle men are left alive, the barnacle men will stage a retributive strike against the town of Angelspit in 1d6 days, involving 4d6 barnacle men, 4d6 attack shrip and firebombs.

BARNACLE WOMAN: HD 1, AC 12, Claw 1d3, Can retreat into shell, Morale 2, Movement 0.  

20 Attack Shrimp Pens
This is a shallow pool where the barnacle men keep their attack shrimp, each the size of a small wolf and with a mouth like a cutlery drawer.  They will attack if they see humans in the room, or if their caretaker (in Room 16 [Blowhole]) summons them by blowing bubbled into the pool.  The pool is too murky for PCs to see anything, but it contains 7 attack shrimp.

ATTACK SHRIMP: HD 1, AC 13, Bite1d4, Morale 11, Movement 1.5x.  If they do max damage on a bite, they attach onto a person's face and deal automatic damage on subsequent rounds.  They can jump 30' easily.  They are as tenacious as wolverines, and each one killed has a 25% chance to stagger to it's feet next round with 1 hp.

Two shelves containing twelve jars of spices and jellies.  Jar #8 contains a saffron gel that functions a potion of dominate person (same rules as a love potion).  Jar #11 contains green slime.  A translucent glass sphere in the center of the room is filled with bubbling, boiling water in which a set of human bones percolates indefinitely (functions as a crystal ball).  Painted shark jaws adorn the walls.  A broad-lipped bowl in the corner (4' wide, 1' deep) contains a family of softly glowing seahorses.  A small jar beside the seahorse bowl contains shredded, dried sea cucumbers.  The seahorses are telepathic, and function as a spell book.  If anyone feeds the seahorses (they only eat dried, shredded sea cucumbers), they will be telepathically contacted by the seahorses, who are eager to discuss interesting spells (and their spellbook nature will be obvious).  

Spellbook contains 3 first-level spells (sleep, grease, ink spray) and 2 second-level spells (octopus gambit, ESP).

Beside the seahorses, a similar bowl contains a family of tiny, striped cleaner shrimp.  (See Appendix). In a corner is an tall jar containing 500s, 500c and a heap of piratical tricorn hats stolen from the chest in Room 12 [False Hoard].

In the center of the room is an even larger bowl filled with black syrup, where the shaman does his work.  Soaking in the black syrup will restore 1 hp per minute.  Two of the shamans mutated, dominated servants guard the west side of the room, formerly bog mermaids, now glassy-eyed freaks.  They will not attack unless attacked, or if the shaman commands them.  The shaman will be sitting beside his black syrup bowl, meditating inside his shell, with a death cone spear in a water jar beside him.  He will be instantly alerted if someone attacks his mind-slave servants, but will not hear anything else (barnacle men have atrocious hearing, and the blowhole is quite loud).  Hilariously, his defense has a huge flaw: anyone who gently shoulders the two servants aside and saunters into the room will not alert him (he is pretty deep into his meditations).

If the shaman is killed before his servants, they will be freed from their compulsions.  Make a roll to see if they rush out seeking immediate vengeance against the barnacle men, break down crying, or attack the PCs anyway (equal chance of each).

HOOK-HANDED BOG MERMAID: HD 3, AC 11, Hooks 1d3/1d3, rends for 1d6 if both hooks hit, Movement 3/4.

ARMOR-TAIL BOG MERMAID: HD 3, AC 11, Tail slam 1d6+1, if tail slam hits and the number showing on the attack roll die is an even number, the PC is wrapped up in the tail for automatic constriction damage on subsequent rounds, Constriction 1d8+1 (Str 14)

BARNACLE MAN SHAMAN: HD 3, AC 12, Claw 1d4 or Spear 0/1d8, Can retreat into shell, Morale 7, Movement 1/4.  Death cone spears get a relative -2 to attack and deal 0 damage, but they have a lethal poison.  After one sting, the barnacle man will remove the snail (takes a turn) and fight with the spear as normal.
Spells prepared: sleep, ink spray, octopus gambit

obligatory barnacle pokemon

New Spells

Ink Spray
Magic-User 1
Sprays a 15' cone of ink.  Everyone in that cone who fails a Save is blinded for 1d6 rounds, or until they spend a round wiping their eyes.  Creatures of HD 4 or less get no save.

Octopus Gambit
Magic-User 2
One target within 30' who fails a save is suddenly covered with 1d6 octopi, who are appear already attached to the target.  Each octopi deals 1 damage each turn until removed, and effectively has HP 1 and AC 10, but can be pulled off with a Strength check (Octopi have 3 strength).  Still, a player cannot remove more than 1 octopus per turn by themselves.

New Items

Captain Crippley's Mug
This mug can be used to find the nearest tavern.  Whenever the mug is pointed at the nearest barrel of alcoholic drink, the holder will taste it in his mouth (illusory taste).  Range: 100 miles.

Captain Crippley's Scimitar
This is a magical scimitar +1 that counts as a +3 when fighting paladins, policemen, town guards, or other lawful folk who are trying to arrest/kill you.  Once per day, it can also allow you to instantly escape from a grapple, hold, or restraint.

Enchanted Cleaner Shrimp
These long-legged shrimp will clean your teeth if you open your mouth and hold still.  They'll also bind your wounds and treat your diseases.  In in synchronized attack, they'll froth bubbles and quickly scrub a rock clean of green slime.  They can give a sufferer a new chance to make a saving throw against a disease or poison.  They can purify poisonous food by frothing onto it.  And if they are eaten, they function as a potion of cure light wounds.  However, whenever a shrimp is eaten, the remaining shrimp must make a morale check or run away (Morale 10).  There are 5 shrimp in this family, but they can be bred in an alchemical laboratory or a common tide pool.  They need water and food, and will dry out after 1 hour if not submerged.


  1. I just read through this, it's a brilliant little piece of neatly themed weirdness.

    I wonder why nobody have commented on it before.

  2. Raw this tonight, quick play report
    - Used bastardised LairOfTheLamb/ITO hack
    - Vaguely Ancient Greek Bronze Age setting
    - Drop in game, 1 player with 1 slave follower initially. Hired 2 hirelings as torchbearers/porters
    - Entered 6, triggered trap during investigation. Squeezed into and retrieved treasure from 7.
    - PC1 swam through 8 without investigating the bottom, succeeded in getting out undrowned (Adjucated by giving swimmers STR+d6 rounds of swimming before they take damage)
    - I played the crabman as quite apathetic. Asked PC outright if they were an intruder, response was in the negative, so crab lost interest. PC returned to 6 and collected rest of party.
    - I judged a lamp wouldn't operate after immersion, and there was no waterproof material, so only a flint+steel could be carried. I gave the crab man a lamp, though, as I was unsure how to deal with sustained interaction in pitch darkness.
    - 2nd player joined mid-session and assumed control of enslaved follower. Crab man had commented on his preference for eating "fish and man flesh" - in ambiguous gambit PC1 is offered up as meal, attacked by crab man who is attacked by rest of party and beaten to death - PC1 then menaces his slave PC2 with machete but is killed. Hirelings accede to this auto-manumission as they still need a way out
    - Boulder route to 3 is not possible with 3 people
    - Proceed to 14; Charge across pool of urchins (DEX save to avoid stepping on) to mob and kill barnacle man
    - At junction, sound of waves and breeze but smell of rot from 15 vs. intermittent roaring noise and mist from north. Party proceeds north to 16
    - Crab men are preoccupied eating cucumber and don't notice shit
    - Dead body of former master is thrown into blowhole pool before emission to test it; It is sucked out of sight and does not reappear
    - RL constrains oblige player2 to leave
    - RL time constraints oblige a rapid resolution of 1 remaining player; Injured former slave leaps into blowhole and is projected out of top. Bleeding to death on surface.
    - 1d6 ITO style luck check; 1 hireling follows and 1 stays. Survives with 1 damage and bandages former slave. They consider trying to get to 6 somehow, but the Hellican smells blood and eyes them. They flee to another city state where, it is hoped, the former slave's freedom can be retained
    - Fate of hireling who remained unknown, prognosis bad

    Fun session! I chose this dungeon because it had a map and the previous session was also on the coast.