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Wednesday, January 11, 2023

The Smurgh

 A big hump-backed bird, nine feet tall.  It is a filthy yellow-brown, and it has the physique of a camel’s hump (not a camel, just the hump).

The Smurgh eats money, and only money.  It will also choke down gemstones, although contemptously.


It usually just stands around and blocks doorways.  You have to pay it to move.  It will swallow your coins and diamonds, and then it will grow slightly bigger.  It will then shuffle off to block some other doorway.


If you roll it on a random encounter table, the Smurgh will appear blocking the path that the party wants to take the most.  It takes 1d10 * 1d10 * 1d10 silver to appease the Smurgh.  It will only ever say one word: “more” which it utters when it has not yet eaten enough money.  The Smurgh will stand there for the rest of the game session, however long that takes.


The Smurgh is protected by all possible legal protections.  It cannot be harmed except legally.


You can argue with the Smurgh.  You need to make three Law checks to make the Smurgh move.  You can make one Law check every 30 minutes that you argue with the Smurgh, and every failed check reduces the number of successes by 1.  If you are noble, you get +4 to these checks.  


(You aren't actually winning a legal case against the Smurgh--you're just annoying it in a language that it can understand.)


Alternatively, you can get a local judge/king to issue a legal action ordering the Smurgh to move, since it impedes a significant traffic path (or whatever–you need to have some justification).


Either way the Smurgh will move over to another nearby doorway, and take up residence there.


NOTE: THE SMURGH© IS CONSIDERED PRODUCT IDENTITY AND YOU CANNOT USE IT IN ANY GAME THAT YOU WRITE OR PUBLISH.

YOU CANNOT EVEN USE IT IN YOUR HOME GAME.  IF YOU USE IT IN YOUR HOME GAME I WILL FIND OUT AND I WILL SUE YOU FOR DAMAGES, AS I AM PLANNING ON SELLING THE SMURGH© ON A LATER DATE AND YOUR CRAPPY HOME GAME HAS DILUTED ITS VALUE AND REDUCED THE POTENTIAL AUDIENCE FOR THE SMURGH©.


IF YOU ROLL THE SMURGH© ON A RANDOM ENCOUNTER TABLE THAT I PUBLISH, ROLL AGAIN, NERD.  ONLY I CAN USE THE SMURGH© IN MY GAMES.  THE SMURGH© IS ONLY FOR ME.  IT IS MY SMURGH© BUT I WILL SELL IT TO YOU SOME DAY.


YOU CANNOT TALK ABOUT THE SMURGH© IN A NEGATIVE WAY.  ONLY POSITIVE THINGS MUST BE SAID ABOUT THE SMURGH©.  IF YOU TALK NEGATIVELY ABOUT THE SMURGH© IT IS DEFAMATION AND I WILL SUE YOU.


BY READING THIS POST YOU HEREBY AGREE TO THE TERMS OF THIS CONTRACT.



Bonus #1 - Another Bird


Looks like an Andalgalornis ferox head the size of a bear.  It runs on four stocky bird legs, with limb proportions somewhere between bear and wolf.  It is primarily black, but has many rainbow-feathered crests.


Andalgalornis skull by Degrange et. al.

The eggs of of the Curse Belly Kaduru Bird are considered rare delicacies when fermented.  Each nest contains 1d3 such eggs, and has a 50% chance of containing a nurse viper.


The Curse-Belly Kaduru Bird also bears the distinction of being the only known animal that seems to be native to both Centerra and Hell.


Curse-Belly Kaduru Bird

Lvl Def chain Bite 1d10

Move human  Int animal  Dis owlbear


Smoke - When agitated, a Curse-Belly Kaduru Bird emits a toxic black smoke from its mouth and eyes (and they are usually agitated).  This smoke extends to fill the room they are currently in (or 30’) and lasts for 10 minutes.  The smoke grants them concealment beyond 5’, although they can see perfectly through it.


You can have a clear shot against a Curse-Belly Kaduru Bird if you prepare an action to hit it before it charges towards you.


When a Curse-Belly Kaduru Bird smokes inside a room, the room becomes poisonous to anyone who who isn’t inside an airtight container.  Whenever anyone ends their turn in a smoke-filled room, they take damage equal to the number of turns that a Curse-Belly Kaduru Bird has been in the room, up to a maximum of 6 damage.  If there are multiple Kaduru birds, the damage increases proportionately faster.  No save.

 

Example: a smoking Kaduru Bird enters a room.  If you end your turn in this room, you take 1 damage.  If you are still here at the end of your next turn, you take 2 damage.


Discussion


The Curse-Belly Kaduru Bird is the spiritual successor to a previous monster of mine.


Design-wise, it has one singular goal: to force the party into a moving battle where they kite it through multiple dungeon rooms.  (A fight that moves through multiple rooms is always dynamic.)



Bonus #2 - Learn About Alternatives to Copyrights


Creative Commons

Copylefts

Comparison of Open Licenses



9 comments:

  1. I once considered using a talking bird with wings and a beak and all, am I in any legal danger? Have all birds bearing any resemblance to the SMURGH© retroactively become jeopardised after reading this post? What's going to happen to me???

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you for creating the SMURGH©. I will never use it in my home game dungeon on starting on level 1. It is a perfect creation. I would never modify the amount of silver that it wants to eat based on the dungeon level doorway it is inhabiting. I will now stop thinking about this amazing creation to avoid any possible troubles.

    ReplyDelete
  3. On licenses, see also the EFF's take on the current kerfuffle: https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2023/01/beware-gifts-dragons-how-dds-open-gaming-license-may-have-become-trap-creators

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's a useful link. Maybe this will move us towards more productive conversation about licenses.

      Delete
  4. The SMURGH© has no equal and nothing can compare to it. The Kaduru Bird is very cool, but, of course, nothing compared to the SMURGH©, which is sacrosanct.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Putting the SMARGH into my dungeon. Legally distinct.

    ReplyDelete